BOOOOO !!!!!!! (DID I SCARE YOU ???)

                        Halloween is right around the corner !!! It's probably my favorite holiday, although I like most of them and Tess and I like to celebrate pretty much anything. But Halloween is the one that she gladly turns over to me every year. 

                        I do the decorations, pick the costumes, buy the candy, make dinner and pick the playlist of movies and shows that we'll watch after the kids are stuffed with treats and are all tucked in and snoring (or is that me ?😏)

    I'm giving out the good stuff !!!

                           A few weeks ago, I brought up the subject of costumes. Even though I pick who we're going to be, I still like to get Tess' input. Especially after what happened the first year we were a couple.
I chose Han Solo and Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi. She loved the idea until I said that I had picked Leia's costume from Jaba's palace. She was silent, which is never a good thing.
Me: What's wrong ? 
Tess: It's a little bit...revealing. 
Me: You'll be beautiful.
Tess: Are we going somewhere or staying home ?
Me: Staying home.
Tess: Then why do I need a costume ?
Me: To give out candy to trick or treaters.
Tess : The parents will complain.
Me: The dads won't !
Tess : You are terrible.
Me: I know. 

So this year, I knew exactly who we should be.
Me: Two people from Westeros !
Tess: Which two people ?
Me: No one in particular.
Tess: You want me to be Cersei, don't you?
Me: Ugh, no.
Tess: Then who?
Me: It doesn't matter. When we went to the Renaissance Faire we weren't anybody in particular. Isn't that what makes it fun ?
Tess: You made the picture of Daenerys and Jorah.
Me: I did that for you.
Tess: I love it.
Me: We can be them if you want to.
Tess: Whatever you want. I want you to be happy.
Me: I want to be Tyrion.
Tess: (giggling) You are too tall and you do not have a beard !
Me: I could grow a beard.
Tess: In two weeks ?
Me: Probably. Alright, Maester Aemon.
Tess: You are too young.
Me: The Mountain?

Tess: You will scare the kids.
Me: You should be Sansa.
Tess: Because I have red hair ?
Me: Well...You could be Ygritte.
Tess: No ! She was mean and untidy and she killed that little boy's father and shot Jon Snow full of arrows !
Me: Yup. Lady Melisandre ?
Tess : No. She killed that poor little guyirl !

If
Me: Sweetie, pretty much everybody on there has killed somebody. It's just a tv show.
Tess: I know, but.....Alright, Sansa.
Me: She killed Baelish. Tess: Arya did that. Besides, he deserved it.
Me: Yeah. Sansa has pretty clothes. You liked that one with the fur, and it's going to be cold that night.

Tess: It is cold now. Are we going out or staying in ?
Me: Staying in ! I'll put another log on the fire. Call Miss Belle and tell her that you're going to be Sansa, but who am I going to be ?
Tess: That is up to you, but no one bad. Sansa has had enough bad men in her life.
Me: True.
Tess: I had better take your measurements.

Me: Why ?
Tess : So that everything fits.She has not made anything for you in a year and your clothes are too tight.
Me: They are not !
Tess: Look what you are wearing right this minute.
Me: What ? It's comfortable !

Tess : It does not look comfortable. Your jeans are not leaving anything to the imagination, and your shirt is too short.
Me: (laughing) Do you like my socks ? Hey, why don't you throw out all of my clothes and buy me new ones ?
She looked delighted.
Tess : May I ?!!!!!!!
Me :NOOOOOOOOOOO !!!
Tess : Oh my ears ! 
(a few minutes passed, but my Tess doesn't give up easily.) 
Tess :Your suits fit you fine. It is your casual clothes that do not.
Me : Leave them alone and don't pout !!! Now, go and get my belt.
Tess : Don't type that ! They will not know that you are kidding.
Me: Maybe I'm not. Where are you going ?
Tess : To get your belt. I deserve it. Lizzy says that I have made you obese.

Me: When did she say that ?
Tess : The day that we met.
Me: And you still made friends with her ???
Tess: Yes. Her English was not very good then. That was three years ago. She would never say that now.
Me: Do YOU think I'm obese ?
Tess : Goodness, no !......But your clothes are too tight.
Me: Are you putting me on another one of your crazy diets?
Tess : No, but let me give your clothes to charity and go shopping for new ones.....My treat !
Me: No. I hate to shop.
Tess: Now, who is pouting ? Let me take your measurements and then I will go shopping online and you can approve everything before I check out. You are so handsome, but you would be better off going out in your birthday suit than some of the things you wear.
Me : Hey ! There's an idea !
Tess : NOOOOOO !
Me: Why not ?
Tess: Because you would cause a riot ! You have enough women throwing themselves at you now !
😏😕😝😨😬😎
Me : Jealous ???
Tess : Should I be ?
Me: Nope.

Tess : Then I can go shopping for you ?
Me : No. It reminds me of school shopping.
Tess : I never had to do that.
Me: I know ! Lucky.

Tess : I like shopping online. I can take my time and my feet do not hurt.
Me : Call Miss Belle and get her started on the costumes.
Tess : Have you decided who you want to be ?
Me : The Hound.
Tess : Not with your face.
Me :What's wrong with my face ?
Tess :Absolutely nothing. That is the point. Still, it is not his fault and he was kind to Sansa.

(Tess is standing on a chair in this picture !😁)

Me : O.k. No make up. Yay ! I don't have to shave or get a haircut and he wears bitchin' boots !
Tess : I wish you would not say that.
Me : What ? Bitchin' ?
Tess : Yes. It does not become you.
Me : ( I made a face at her) Make the call ! 
Tess : I still need your measurements.
Me : After lunch.

Tess : I could make a nice salad.
Me : You're fired!😡 Pack your bags.
Tess : Soba ?
Me : You can stay.



Lunch was delicious and I let her take my measurements after we ate.
Then, I looked at the tablet where she was writing the numbers down.
Me : I AM obese !!!
Tess :Oh, you are not.
Me : We better go on a diet.
Tess: Why me ?
Me : It's all your fault !