THE ACADEMY AWARDS !

Tomorrow is Oscar Night. Tess and I will be watching, in fact we're throwing a little shindig for a few friends and family members. A cozy little affair for which Tess will be making some of her best (in)famous snacks and nibbles 😋and I will be playing host and bartender serving up libations and concoctions to accompany them.

Having the advantage of Academy screener videos (Tess: Don't brag, honey. Me: I'm not bragging, I'm only stating the truth. Tess: 😔) we have seen everything from the ten Best Picture nominees to the entries for Best Animated Short. In all honesty, it's a pretty sorry lot. (Tess is still fuming that Rogue One was only nominated in two categories and did not receive a nod for Best Editing )But that's only the opinion of two people who have seen more movies than we care to count and so we like to think we know what we're talking about ( Tess: Be nice,honey.  Me: I WAS nice,Sweetie !)

So, have you seen any (or all) of the nominated films? Will you be watching the show ? Are you having a party ? Going to a party ? Boycotting the entire thing because your favorite movie wasn't nominated this year ? (I don't blame you. ) The party was Tess' idea and well, I seldom refuse her anything (mostly because she seldom asks for anything) If you knew her, you probably couldn't  refuse her either. But I made the guest list and set the dress code (Comfortable ! Me: No, Sweetheart. Tuxedos are NOT comfortable ! Tess: But you look so handsome in a suit ! Me: I don't look handsome in jeans and a flannel shirt ? Tess: Of course you do ! But no baseball cap.Please ? Me: Oh, alright,but I'm wearing sweats to our wedding. Tess: (faints)   Me:  I was kidding!  (😉)

TESS'  "CRAB" CAKES
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8oz. cream cheese (room temperature)
1 cup shredded parmesan cheese ,divided
1 large egg
1/4 cup sour cream
1 tsp orange zest
1/2 tsp lemon zest
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs (or any bread crumbs that you prefer)
2 cups cooked flaked crab (substitute imitation crab or pollock, or cod if you prefer)
1/3 finely chopped celery
1/3 cup chopped onion ,any type (optional)
1/2 tsp. mustard
1 Tbs. lemon juice
2 Tbs. chopped parsley (fresh or dried)
1/2 tsp. sea salt 
1/2 tsp. paprika
1/2 cup butter, melted
Creole seasoning to your own taste (optional)

1 1/2  cups panko bread crumbs (these work the best but you can use regular bread crumbs if you wish)

Using an electric mixer, beat cream cheese in a bowl until smooth, add 1/4 cup parmesan cheese and the egg and beat to blend. Beat in the seasonings,herbs,sour cream, and citrus zest. Fold in the crabmeat or substitute. ( Chill at least two hours or overnight.)

Spray mini muffin tins with nonstick spray of your choice. I use olive oil. Mix together 1/2 cups of bread crumbs, and 3/4 cup parmesan cheese.Slowly pour a stream of melted butter over and toss until the mixture is evenly moistened. put 1 Tbs. of the panko/cheese mixture in the bottom of each tin and press your thumb to make an indentation, put a good tablespoon of the crab mixture on top, sprinkle
more panko mixture over the top of each. 

Bake in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes until golden. Cool for five minutes. Use a fork to gently release each cake from the tins. Put on a serving platter with spinach or dark lettuce leaves surrounding a small bowl of dipping sauce. Tartar or cocktail sauce is best. Can be rewarmed on a cookie sheet at 350 degrees for 3-5 minutes.

And to sip while you're nibbling:

TheChamCham Cocktail (not affiliated with any other Cham Cham cocktails out there)

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In a punch bowl :Your favorite champagne poured over fresh pomegranate jewels or bottled pomegranate juice, thin slices of lime and sprinkled with rose petals or other edible flowers (pansies, sweet peas,) Serve over crushed ice or not. (Strictly for the ladies) . Personally, I prefer a Guinness or a good Argentinian wine. Cheers.😉

PIRATES OFF THE PORT BOW !

My Tess surprised me with a pre-Valentine's Day vacation to Catalina to get away from the cold New York weather. So we got out the boat, gathered our provisions, and set out for a nice relaxing trip.

But only two days later, in the middle of the night, we were shanghaied by PIRATES !😭

And a scurvy bunch they were.

When we reached New Orleans, they locked me up and if it weren't for this helpful dog, I'd still be there.

Then I had to rescue my Tess from this auction (She's the comely redhead in the big hat, of course)
and escape. We tried to ask this guy Jack for directions but he was a bit tipsy and no help at all.

We made it to a mansion but it was haunted, although these three spirited fellows kindly pointed us in the direction of some much needed sustenance.

 My Tess is from Louisiana and I've worked there several times so we knew where the best food was and after a couple of Po-boys (I had the popcorn shrimp, she had the fried chicken) and a couple of o orders of beignets and bread pudding ( with cafe au lait for me, hot chocolate for her) we had the strength to continue on to our original destination.

 (Tess says the Mickey shaped beignets are "blasphemous". 😆 This is the closest I can get to the laughing emoticon. I miss it already.)😞

On our way out, we saw that the pirates were looking for us,

So we left the boat behind and hopped a train to Neverland.😃

(Silly, I know. But we've had a tumultuous year and this was our first real breather and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. We felt like a couple of kids playing hooky from reality and now it's back to the real world. Isn't that what the place was created for? I hope you all get the chance to ameliorate your everyday lives now and then because if you aren't having any fun, what's the point ? 😩)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !

Tess and I both love Valentine's Day, but unlike the other holidays where she does most of the decorating, cooking, and pampering, this is the day when I brush off (some of)my culinary cobwebs and pamper my One and Only. 

First, the flowers. Tess is partial to Sweet Peas and since it was too cold to grow them here in the East where we live and growing them in a hothouse would produce the flowers but not the exquisite fragrance, I have them grown in Florida and cut and shipped the day before Valentine's Day. Then I put them in every vase, in every room of the house and when she wakes up that morning she is surrounded by her favorite flowers. Romantic, I know. 😍 I try.

Next:  Breakfast. ( Which she makes. Dinner is where I shine !) 

French Toast ( her recipe follows) and Hot Chocolate.

       Pain Perdu (French Toast)
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     12 Slices Day Old French or Sourdough Bread (Challah bread is delicious too ! ) 
        6 eggs beaten
        1 cup Whole Milk ( 2% is alright)
        1 T. Vanilla 
         Grated nutmeg to taste

In a large bowl, wisk together eggs, milk, vanilla and nutmeg.
Put butter or coconut oil into a heavy skillet (preferably cast iron) and heat on a low flame.
Soak each slice of bread in the custard mixture and cook until golden brown, turn over and cook other side. Put on a plate in a warm oven or on a plate over a pan of simmering water to keep warm while you cook the rest of the slices. Serve with powdered sugar, fruit spread, jam or maple syrup. Yummy !😋

       
Weather permitting, we go for a walk in the woods and collect pinecones and feed the squirrels and birds.

When the sun goes down I light the fireplace (if it isn't already lit) or build it up and throw on some pinecones rolled in allspice ( it makes the house smell like a bakery) and we sit down in front of the fire at a low table with lots of cushions spread around and I make my specialty...fondue !😋 (recipe to follow)  You know the rules of fondue, don't you ? If the guy drops his chunk of bread or cake or fruit he has to drain his glass in one go , but if the woman drops hers .......Kisses ! 😚 Yeah !!!

                Traditional Cheese Fondue 
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A little history. The earliest known recipe for fondue comes from the  book  "Kass mit Wein zu Kochen " ( to cook cheese with wine) published in Zurich in 1699.

(Forgive the lack of proper punctuation on the foreign words. I'm not completely "computer literate" yet and I can't find how to turn on the button for that but I'm looking  for it!)


                       1/2 lb.Gruyere cheese
                       1/2 lb. Swiss cheese ( Emmental is best)
                       1 glass of your favorite white wine ( You can use beer. I won't tell.)
                       Kirsch (cherry liqueur) (optional)
                       2 tsps. Cornstarch
                        Fresh-grated nutmeg
                        White pepper
                         A clove of garlic (optional)
                         Green apple cut into chunks (or mouth-sized cubes)
                          French bread (ditto)
                          Boiled new potatoes (leave them whole if small or halve them)
                         

Put the cheese in a fondue pot on your stove, add the wine and let it simmer. Wisk the Kirsch and cornstarch together until blended (if you aren't using Kirsch do this with the wine or beer) . Peel the garlic clove, crush it and wipe it on the inside of the fondue pot. (This is optional. We don't do this step because garlic gives Tess migraines and then she looks like this 😢 and that ruins the evening, which you don't want.) It's still delicious without it.
Grate the nutmeg and pepper into the cheese and wisk in the cornstarch and Kirsch or wine (or beer. Shhh.) This emulsifies the cheese and makes it smooth.

Light the candle under the fondue base, put the fondue pot on top, put the plates of apple, new potatoes, french bread and fondue forks, napkins, wine glasses on the table. (I decorated the table with votive candles and flower petals sprinkled around them.) Light the candles, turn down (or off) the lights, turn on the stereo (Barry White is good. Tess likes Michael Buble at the moment)(A LOT !😟) and call her. I think most women would like this, but you know your own (or you should) lady or gentleman's preferences.

Chocolate Fondue
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            1 16 oz. bag each of Milk Chocolate and Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips(You can use all milk chocolate if you prefer)
             Reddi-Whip or Cool-Whip
            1tsp -1 T. Instant Coffee or 1/4 cup of fresh brewed coffee (optional)
            1 tsp Vanilla 
             1 tsp Demerara (or light brown sugar)
            1/3 cup hot water
             
             Cut up pound cake or angel food cake is also good.
              Whole strawberries
              Large Marshmallows
              Pretzels, Hard Cookies
              

            Melt the chocolate and cream in a saucepan, Mix in the coffee,sugar, and vanilla. Stir well until smooth. Pour into the washed cheese fondue pot or another one if you have two (I do !). Serve with the cake, fruit, etc. Coffee and cognac go well with this. The same rules apply. 😚😋😊

We start out with the cheese fondue for dinner and progress to the chocolate fondue for dessert and then......I'm a gentleman. Use your own imaginations on how to continue or end the evening. Have fun ! Happy Valentine's Day !😍
            

            

          

                 
(This post is very belated, I know. To find out why, please read the next post. If you dare 😨!)
                     

YOU FOUND US !!!

WELCOME former IMDb message board compatriots and hopefully some new fans of yours truly.

We, being My Tess ,or Tess d'Urberville, my private chef 🍜🍣🍱🍰🥧🍪,sweetheart 💖, and personal ray of sunshine 🌞( for those not already familiar from my IMDb posts about her)  and I, also hope new videos 🎥 from our respective YouTube channels, Tess' latest culinary creations 🍲🍰🎂😋 and projects , travel ⛵✈🚅 🚀
and anything else we might find to interest you. We hope to make this a place of refuge, A happy place , and a safe place for you to visit. In that respect, here are the rules :

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Thank you.

We look forward to seeing you.

TheChamCham😉 and Tess ☺️🌷.