AND ON THIS DAY, MY ANGEL WAS BORN.

Happy Birthday to My Tess. We've been through a lot together over the past eight years and seven months, some good and some bad. I hope the future is brighter for both of us and that we'll spend it together, making each other's dreams come true. I truly believe that if you stay by my side, we CAN rule the world (our own little world anyway).
I love and cherish you, My Angel. 😇

Now, where's the cake🎂 and ice cream 🍨??? 😙💕😘💗😊

While looking for a picture of an anime character with long red hair for my birthday last year, Tess found Asuna (and Kirito) and Sword Art Online and fell in love with them (I'm a little bit jealous😩).
She watches both seasons and the movie over and over (and blares the songs in Japanese and English while she's online and tries to sing along with the Japanese ones which is really adorable😆) 

so while trying to decide what kind of birthday video to make for her this year, there was really only one choice (I think the marionettes have been done). Of course I used the one Michael Buble song that neither of us had used yet. P.S. She loved it !!!😉

And a very special thank you to LILY for getting everything there the night before.😁😅😉

Uh Oh ! It looks like somebody else is jealous !😆

Update:

I also gave her this new bathing suit, but it only arrived yesterday.

She wore it when we went swimming yesterday,but she wouldn't let me post any of the pictures that I took.😖Dagnabbit !!!

A SOMEWHAT FISHY TALE.

Tess and I were walking by the lake last week (she likes to feed the ducks because it fills her desire for having baby geese, or baby anything, which we've agreed not to do for now) when she threw a handful of bread and her engagement slipped off and landed in the lake. You should have heard her scream !!!😬And then of course, she cried.😭

I love to swim but the thought of spending the rest of the day trying to find a ring in a big lake was....  Okay, I admit it ! I'm lazy by nature. I bought it in an antique shop in London, a replacement for her previous ring that I was never satisfied with although she loved it,  and it was one of her Christmas presents but what were the odds of finding it anyway ???

Tess was distraught, so some helpful kids and I looked for it for an hour but it was impossible. I thanked the kids and gave them ice cream money and we went home.

Me: I'll buy you a new one.
Tess: I do not want a new one. I want that one.
Me: Do you want me to call city hall and ask them to drain the lake ?
She thought about it.
Tess: No.
Me: Don't we have a picture of it somewhere ? I'll take it to a jeweler and have them make one just like it.
Tess: I think you should beat me instead.
Me: That's not funny ! It wasn't your fault.
Tess: Yes, it is. I knew it was loose. I should have moved it to another finger or something.
(She's lost a little weight lately, getting ready for pool weather, I guess.)
Me: Don't worry about it. It's only a ring.
Tess: My finger is naked and cold.
She looked sadly at her cold,naked finger so I went upstairs and got the first ring I gave her and put it on her finger and kissed it.
Me: There.
She burst into tears.

So,the next day, I drove to the lake with my scuba diving gear and found some kids to help me. We spent the better part of  the day looking for the ring, but again, no luck. I gave the kids pizza money, and drove home. I didn't know what else to do.

So the next day I drove back to the lake and went fishing. I told the story to some of the other fishermen but they all agreed that it was doubtful that I would find the ring.

Fisherman 1; Can't you buy her another one ?
Me: Sure, but she wants that one.
Fisherman 3: And you're in the doghouse.
Me: Actually, she put herself there and I want to get her out. She's flooding the place with her tears and the dog wants it's house back.
They laughed.
I caught a couple of fish but my heart wasn't in it and a few hours later I was packing up my gear when I heard an uproar. I went to see what was going on.
Fisherman #1: Hey, could you describe that ring ?
Me: Yeah, it's a heart shaped garnet on a gold band with diamonds on each side.
His little boy, (named TIMMY) held out his hand to me and there it was inside of a fish.
Timmy: My mom always makes us clean the fish before we come home. It was in this one's belly !
YIPPEE !!!😀
Needless to say, I was ecstatic and don't worry, TIMMY and his dad were well-rewarded. I drove home
trying to think of the best way to surprise my Tess and this is what I came up with.

We have a deal too. I fish, I clean the fish, she cooks the fish. So after I cleaned the fish, I posed it with the ring and took this picture. When she came downstairs to cook dinner, I hid and waited for her reaction.
Me: Surprise !!!
Tess: (Lets out a scream to wake the dead. She really could have had a career in horror movies, but I'm glad that she didn't want one.)
Tess: You scared the living daylights out of me !
Me: I scared You ???
Tess: How did you find it ?
I told her.
Tess: Is it really mine ?
Me: Yes. I think it takes longer than three days to make a ring.

And then she smiled and hugged me and kissed me and it was all worth it.
Tess: Poor fishy.
Me: Should we give it a proper burial ?
Tess: Wouldn't you rather eat it ?
Me: Yes.

So she cooked it and it's two friends in lemon, butter and parsley and we gave thanks and ate them.
Me: You aren't wearing your ring.
Tess: I am not taking any chances. I am going to tie it on with a ribbon. Miss Belle always did that when I was little.
Me: You're still little. What's for dessert ?

Me: Ooh ! What's this ?
Tess: We are out of your Chunky Monkey at present, so I improvised.
Me: Yum !
Tess: When you are finished, I have another thank you for you.
Me: Cake ?
Tess: No.
Me: Cookies ?
Tess: No.
Me: Tell me !
Tess: Come upstairs.
Me: Why can't I have it down here ?
She gave me a look.
Me: Oh !☺️

We'll see you next week. 😉

And Now It Is My Turn In The Doghouse.

                         Je t'en prie, pardonne-moi!


                                                (I lost my engagement ring in the lake.)

"Find a penny, put it in your shoe, have good luck the whole day through."

I grew up in a superstitious household. Some of the beliefs came from my father's Creole upbringing, some from my Pennsylvania Dutch grandmother, others from the Irish side of the family. I knocked wood, threw spilled salt over both shoulders because I could never remember which was the right one, did not open umbrellas in the house, never walked under a ladder, if I left the house and had to come back for something I had to sit down and count to ten before leaving again, and I had to pick the kitten with the most white markings on his black fur because an all black cat was considered bad luck. A bird inside the house meant that someone would die soon. Did that not include my pet parakeet, I asked? I never received a straight answer, but I was allowed to keep my parakeet. But the biggest one of all was bragging about something that had not happened yet,because that would jinx the outcome. That is still the one that I observe to this day.

Yesterday, an article was published in The Hollywood Reporter about the supporting actor/actress Emmy Award contenders. The nominations will not be announced until July 12th.

The awards broadcast will not be until September 17th, but I have been annoyed by this since April because to me, this is a jinx on what had been something to look forward to, something to hope for, to dream about, something that would have crowned the year for someone very dear to my heart and I cannot help but feel that it has now been tarnished, as well as having possibly provided more fodder for the naysayers should this "prediction" not come to pass. 

I cannot remember a year when this has happened before, and I blame the internet (I see the irony there) for continuing to jump the gun on everything and anything. The collective world has lost the ability to wait and I think that is a shame. The joy and excitement of anticipation is gone, and I for one, will miss it.

                                                                                               Tess🌷


Update : Today is July 12th, the nominations for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama series have been announced and I was right. It gives me no pleasure to say that. 😿No pleasure at all.

THE MOMMY II: THE RETURN OF MRS.D.

(This post was delayed due to an "incident" wherein I accidentally deleted all of the pictures I had taken at the party and did not want to tell Tess. Well, she wheedled 😟(her word, not mine) it out of me and called her mother for the guest list and called everyone to see of anyone had taken pictures. She found three people who had and they texted her the pictures and she emailed them to the blog email and she put them up. Then she asked why I had not called her mother.😬I said I didn't want to annoy her (my very existence seems to be enough to do that). She smiled, knowingly and shook her head. "You two, honestly." 🐔 Yup, that's me. 
And Yes, that's what her mother really looks like !
When Tess took me home to meet her for the first time, I said :Do you know your mother looks like Atlanta from "Stingray"?  She giggled and said yes. I had already seen pictures of Tess' father who looked like Jeff Tracy from "Thunderbirds"

and her sister who looks like Venus from Fireball XL5.

I made the mistake of asking her mother if she had other relatives who look like Gerry Anderson marionettes. I think that was the beginning of her utter disdain for me.

Last Month (APRIL 1st) , My Tess and I were invited to an Easter brunch 🐇🐤🌷at a friend's house. Now, Easter is probably Tess' favorite holiday, but we've been so busy this year and she had already done my birthday🎈, Christmas, 🎄Valentine's Day, 💝and St. Patrick's Day 🍀so I accepted the invitation. She had already decorated the house when I got up the courage to tell her. She asked to see the invitation, looked at it for a long time, sighed (at this point I expected her to burst into tears), then smiled sweetly and said -
Tess: I will wear my new pink dress. What will you wear ?
Me: Do I have to wear a suit ?
Tess: No.But your blue one is back from the cleaners. (Then she smiled sweetly). You do not have to wear a tie.
Easter morning we got up, had a light breakfast, exchanged Easter baskets and then got dressed (I wore the blue suit,without a tie.)
We went to the brunch (I wasn't the only guy there in a suit !!!), had a nice time and when we got home there were no dishes, no tidying up to do and ......................NO LEFTOVERS !!! 😭

Tess: Look in the refrigerator, Honey.

Ahhh! Twenty-eight deviled eggs, all for me !!! 😊Bliss.

Then one day, a few weeks later, Tess' mother (the infamous Mrs.D. of last summer's Disco party) who had been on a month long trip to Japan with friends, called to say that she was home and having a homecoming brunch with an Easter theme.

Tess: Easter was three weeks ago, Mother !
(I motioned for Tess to put her on speaker phone.)
Mrs. D. : Well yes, I know that , but they do not celebrate Easter in Japan and I missed it, so I am having it now.
Tess; But Mr.Cham is home and we are relaxing because his schedule will be very busy for the next two months.
Mrs.D : Well, HE can come too. (HE or HIM, that's me. I don't know if she actually doesn't know my name or if she doesn't remember it. She used to refer to me as "THAT MAN", so it's kind of an improvement. Kind of)
Tess: I will have to ask him.
(I shook my head)
Mrs. D: But YOU will come !
Tess: Next time.
Mrs. D: But you have to come ! I want you to make the brunch ! ( I KNEW IT😠 !!!)
Tess: For how many people ?
Mrs. D: Oh,......only eleven. Thirteen including you....and HIM. With myself it will be fourteen.
(Shaking my head until I thought it would fall off.)
Tess: That is very short notice, mother.
Mrs.D. :I sent out the invitations last week and I have already heard from half of the list.
Tess; Why did you not call me last week ?
Mrs.D: I forgot.
I think I saw flames shoot out of my sweet girl's nostrils.🔥🐲

Mrs. D : Miss Belle will be there and she is SOOOOO looking forward to seeing you. She was heartbroken when you cancelled Christmas with her. (Guilt Guilt Guilt)
Tess: We had to go to England.
Mrs.D: HE had to go to England. You did not have to go with him.
Tess: Yes. I did. I promised him.
Mrs. D: You promised Miss Belle first and then you broke that promise.
Tess: I talked to her before we went. She understood. And I sent her a lovely Christmas present from England.
A LITTLE BACKSTORY: Miss Belle was Tess' nanny and then governess from the time she was seven weeks old until she was nineteen. As far as Tess is concerned, Miss Belle is her "Mama" and  Tess' mother is her (s)mother.  So Mrs.D. knows how to guilt her.

Tess: (whispering to me)  Will you go ?
Me: When?
Tess: When are you planning it for ?
Mrs. D: This weekend. Otherwise it will run into Mother's Day.
Tess: It will have to count as both because Mr.Cham has a prior commitment that week and I am going with him.
Mrs. D: Fine.
Tess: Do you have a menu ?
Mrs. D: No. I'll leave that to you. But do a few Japanese dishes too.
Tess: Japanese food ! Should I wear a kimono too ?
Mrs. D : Oh, I bought you two ! You can try them on when you get here and I can decide which one you should wear.
Tess: Did you buy one for HIM?

Mrs. D : No. Why would I do that? But on the subject of his wardrobe.....
Tess: You want him to wear a suit...,?
Mrs. D. : Well, that WOULD be nice, but I was more concerned with his...hat.
Tess: What about it ?
Mrs.D;  The new one is a great improvement ! I can almost see what you see in him. Almost. Tell him to wear the ivory one.
Tess: He is not a child, Mother. But I will forwards your sartorial suggestion. (That's my girl !!!😁)Well, I will have to see what I can do on such short notice and get back to you.
Mrs.D. : Fine.
The phone clicked off. Mrs.D. is one of those annoying people who never says goodbye, they simply hang up.

Me: You're not going.....are you ???
Tess: I would like to see Miss Belle.
Me: Send her a plane ticket. My treat.
Tess: You are sweet. But...it will kill two poor birds with one stone and I can say we are booked if anything else comes up. I'll understand if you do not go with me. (I could see the pout getting ready to appear)
Me: I'll meet you there.
Tess: (pout reverting to relieved smile) Thank you, honey !

So Tess took the train to Florida with her friend Lily to prepare the food and I flew down on the day of the brunch. I was greeted at the door by ......

THE GINGER GEISHA !!! 

who ran down the steps and into my arms. and gave me the best kiss of my life !(and that's saying something where she's concerned 😘!)
Me: You look adorable !
Tess: Oh,thank you. I am so glad to see you ! You look so handsome ! No one else is here yet.
Me: Including your mother ?
Tess: She is still primping in her room. How was your flight ?
Me: Alright.
Tess.: Good. Come to the kitchen. I want you to sample the food.
Me: I'm your man !

The brunch was beautiful. Before she left NY, my clever girl had bought a sushi making kit on Amazon.com and had it delivered to her mother's house along with her grocery order (and billed it to her mother's account !😛) Then when she arrived in Florida she made 125 pieces of assorted SUSHI !!!

 60 yakitori skewers, 30 beef and 30 chicken.

Vegetable tempura

The requisite rice.
and some of her own specialties. Deviled eggs with salmon roe.

And some little sandwiches (chicken

salad, roast beef, and cucumber)

She's amazing !!!😲 (Now that I know she can make sushi, we have made a deal. I stop tracking muddy boot prints into her kitchen, and I get homemade sushi once a week. YES !!!🍣) She asked if she should make a salad. I said no one eats salad when they go to other people's houses. She looked at me and smiled sweetly. "Well, I know that YOU don't."😉(Neither does she.)

Dessert was green tea ice cream and French butter cookies.


            She was going to make little Godzilla

shaped ones (she is a lifelong Godzilla fan), but the sushi took too much time.) They were still delicious ! (I think it's illegal to eat Godzilla in Japan anyway. isn't it ? Well, it SHOULD be !!!)🦖😋

 And Miss Belle had called in the meantime and asked if there was anything she could bring. Tess asked if she could bring a dessert. She brought brownies,

lemon bars

and this nifty fruit basket !

Tess says she could have cried (I'm betting that she did), she was so happy. I was happy too !😋Miss Belle taught her how to bake when she was little(er), so I won't get in trouble for drooling.

While we were eating, Mrs. D suddenly announced the following:
Mrs.D: Did you all know that in Japan only 2% of the population is obese !
I looked up and found her staring down the table at me. Then everyone's eyes turned my way.  AWKWARD !!!😬
Me: (smiling "sweetly") I take it that was meant for me?
She only smiled (faux sweetly).
I started to reply, when a small red headed pitbull suddenly jumped to my defense. (Again.)
Tess:  He is NOT obese ! His doctor said so recently. !
Mrs. D : A REAL doctor, or that herbalist YOU go to ?
Tess: A real doctor ! And my herbalist is also a holistic healer and she is excellent ! Better than any "real" doctor I have seen. I have never felt better!
Me: And you look AMAZING !!!
Tess: (blushing adorably) Oh thank you, honey ! 💋💏
That received a disapprovingly look from Mrs. D. who "does approve of public displays of affection".😁(Aw, Shucks. Hee Hee !!!)
After the buffet, Mrs. D announced that she had discovered Karaoke (not literally of course, and decades too late) and led us into the lounge and sat down at the piano. She had apparently NOT discovered Karaoke machines.

Mrs.D: (turning to Tess) What are you going to sing ?
Tess:  Oh no! I am only the caterer.
Mrs. D: But you did not sing at my birthday party !
Tess: I am not a singer.
Mrs.D: You used to sing all the time. You were singing in the kitchen last night. (Turns to me) I bet she sings for YOU !
Me: Well, she sings when she cooks, but she stops if I come in the room.
Mrs. D: Make her sing !
Me: (Laughing until my sides ached) I don't MAKE her do anything.

Mrs D: You have her wrapped around your little finger.
Me: I think you have that backwards.
Mrs. D: Do YOU sing ?
Me: No M'am !
She stared me down (even though she is much shorter than I am) and then walked away.
Me: Are you going to sing, Baby ?
Tess: No!
Me: Oh. (I tried not to look too disappointed but apparently failed.)
Tess:  But I will if YOU want me to.
I smiled. She says all I have to do is smile and she melts. I don't know if that means I have her wrapped around my "little" finger, but it's very sweet. Anyway, she looked through the music books on the piano while Mrs.D. honored us with
a medley from The Sound of Music. She IS a very talented pianist. I'll give her that.

Then, my Tess gave her the music she had chosen.
Mrs. D: This ? Why do you want to sing this ? I don't even know it.
Tess: (looking at me) It is not for YOU. (ZING !!!😃)
Mrs. D: WELL !!! Thank you very much !
 The two of them are a riot. They should have their own reality show. Wait, that's a really bad idea. I don't want to be the lone Yankee in a sea of  fired up, red headed Southern Belles with a camera rolling. No, thank you !

One of the other guests offered to play for Tess and Mrs.D. got up and he took her place at the piano. Then My Tess told a little story of how I took her to see "The Little Mermaid" on Broadway for her birthday the first year after she came to work for me. (She loved the show but at one point I looked over to find that she was crying. I leaned over and asked what was wrong but she only gave me a little smile and shook her head. Her eyes were filled with tears though. I let it go, we enjoyed the rest of the show and went to dinner afterwards and frankly, I forgot to ask what had made her cry.) She told the other guests that during "If Only" the lyrics touched her so much that she started to cry. She said she already knew that she was falling in love with me but that it wasn't possible that I could feel the same about her, especially after only knowing each other for a few months. She never told me that before. It made me want to cry too, considering how many years it took for us to be together.
                                 
Then Tess sang and I found yet another reason to love her. 💘And the look her mother gave me was .....priceless. I couldn't keep from smiling.😁

                                                    Mermaid by Sharandula -Deviant Art

It wasn't until one of the other guests took their turn that I saw her husband take his phone out and lay it on the coffee table and my heart sank.

Me:Are you recording this ?
Him: Yes. I love it when she sings and I want to be able to play it back later for my friends.
😖Why didn't I think of that ???????????????😭

I told Tess later and she said she was glad I hadn't recorded her. As I've said before, she harbors absolutely no artistic aspirations. That she allows the food photos is surprising enough. But she has promised that the next time I catch her singing in the kitchen, she won't stop. That's enough for me.

So, that was the party and luckily there aren't any upcoming holidays  (Until Tess' birthday JULY 7th) and we'll be pretty busy for the next couple of months with work related activities so I think we'll both be safe from Mrs.D. for a while. At least until..............................

MAY 2, 1990

You may think that today is the worst day of your life, but how do you know that tomorrow will not be the best day, if you are not here to see it.


They say that you always remember where you were when a major tragedy happens in your world. The Kennedy Assassination, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, to name a few. But I cannot remember where I was when I heard the news that David had died. All I can remember is how I felt. Devastated. 
He was only thirty-eight. He had his entire life ahead of him.

David Rappaport was an actor, but he was a human being first and foremost. Born November 23, 1951 to an Orthodox Jewish  family in London, he was a wonderful, charming, intelligent, caring, multi-faceted, funny, amazing human being. He was well-educated, having studied Psychology at the University of Bristol, he then spent a decade teaching. He was an accomplished  musician who played piano, drums and flute. 

To most people, David had many things to live for. That September he was to begin filming "The Poet" about a dwarf poet in a Welsh village, a project he had wanted to do for several years based on the story by Carol Ann Cline. He was engaged, although his prior suicide attempt was in March of 1990, two weeks before the scheduled wedding, which never took place. He had a son, Joe who lived in England with his mother, But apparently, none of these were enough reason to want to go on living

May 2, 1990 is the day that David chose to leave this earth. It was also his son Joe's fourteenth birthday. I cannot help wondering if that was simply a coincidence or did it hold deeper meaning, a clue to why he left us.

David also happened to have been born with Epiphyseal Dysplasia, a form of Dwarfism. But that was only one of the many things that made David special in the eyes and hearts of those who truly loved him.

Recently, I took the last photographs of him to a friend that does Chinese face readings who has done incredibly accurate readings for me and my family and friends and she diagnosed David with several serious medical issues (She knew nothing about him prior to doing the readings). A bit after the fact, I know, but for someone still searching for answers twenty eight years later, it was something. To a child who only wanted to know "why", it is an answer. To take your life because of a lost job or a breakup with a girlfriend or  boyfriend seem such little reasons. Temporary trials that we have all faced and continued on. Suicide is NOT a solution. It is only an ending and only for the person who dies. The people who loved and continue to love and miss them are doomed to suffer for the rest of their (our) lives.

To take your life to end present and future physical suffering is perhaps easier to understand, but even then, if traditional medicine fails you, there are many other options and I say this as a person who has faced death from serious illness and not given up, even when I wanted to, because it would have devastated the people who love and need me. Please think of them when you cannot think of yourself.
Today can be the worst day of your life but how do you know that tomorrow will not be better if you are not here to see it.

David was a very private person and an underrated actor who could smile and make you believe that he did not have a care in the world. That is unfortunate, because no one foresaw what was really underneath that jaunty exterior.

I visited David's grave when I was in England and I stood there looking at the cold headstones in an area devoid of trees. There were no flowers on any of the graves, only stones on top of some of the headstones in the Jewish tradition and I added mine to the top of David's, with a note for him.It had rained earlier in the day and there were mud puddles all around the grassless ground. It was beyond depressing.

      As I stood there, it began to rain again and I could not help but think "You do not belong here", but then I knew that he was not really there.

Cemeteries are for the living, places to go to "visit" our lost friends and loved ones to make us "feel better" for not having done anything for them when they were alive. It is a helpless feeling.

My dearest Mr.Cham reminds me lovingly that I was only a child when David died and I know that he is trying his best to comfort me, again, but it does not make the pain go away and I do not believe that anything ever will.Perhaps that is the price that we must pay for having loved someone and then outlived them.

                                                                                                                           Tess🌷