Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I REALLY think so !!!

Hey kids !!!😀 I've been in and out of town on business (and a little bit of pleasure 😋🍺✈️🎄🦌🎊🏟️🎣🏁💵🏆🤫) and I came home to find that we had apparently moved to Japan 🗻⛩️🏯 in my absence 😯. Tess is still nursing that cold, so I didn't let her meet me at the airport, but I called to tell her I was on my way home, and again when I landed ,because she likes to have everything ready for my arrival.    When the Uber 🚐 driver pulled up to the gate, I asked him to honk the horn and a few moments later the intercom crackled and a little voice called out "Konichiwa!" (with a slight Louisiana drawl😮)  The driver and I looked at each other. It was about 6pm and I thought he'd taken a wrong turn in the dark."Uhhh ,I don't think this is my house." He raised an eyebrow🤨 and repeated the address I had given him.

"Yeah, that's it." 😕(I said warily ) The gate opened suddenly and he drove through. We were halfway up the driveway lined with paper lanterns when the front door opened and  👘 The infamous "Ginger Geisha" appeared between two new potted plants on the steps, knelt down and began bowing as if the Emperor himself had arrived😏. She said something in Japanese and bowed a few more times. The driver looked impressed. "Does she do that everytime?" I only smiled. (Bless My little Tess.🤗)  I do always get an enthusiastic welcome home, but this was extravagant, even for Tess ! It used to embarrass me the way she fusses over me, but I think (after nine years) I am finally learning to relax and enjoy it. In contrast, over a decade ago, the last time I came home from a LONG, very unpleasant business trip to a country I won't name (wonderful people, terrible food and weather), I paid the cab driver, dragged my luggage inside and looked for my family whom I hadn't seen in four long months! My (soon to be ex) wife was sunning herself by the pool. I had to clear my throat three times before she could draw her attention away from the magazine she was engrossed in, long enough to look up and say "Oh......(yawn ) Are YOU back?"🙁  Yeah😒 . Anyway, that's ancient history.🤞)               Back to the present...............
The driver unloaded my luggage, I tipped him and he gave me a thumbs up ,and dare I say it, an envious smile and drove out of gate.When he was gone Tess got up and hugged the life out of me (or is it INTO me ? ) and covered my face with sweet kisses.😘  Just inside the mudroom door, she took my jacket,  sat me down on the bench, stole my shoes and socks and replaced them with a pair of house slippers."What are you doing ?" "Come and see!" She put her soft little hand in mine and led me into the front room. The house hadn't been decorated for the holidays when I left, but it was now ! 🤨

Tess' friend Lily had stayed with her while I was gone and they had decided to have a Japanese-themed Christmas and New Year's this year.  They told me about their dinner 😋and their Godzilla🦖/Mothra🦋🐛/Gamera 🐢marathon 😯. As you may know, we're planning a trip to Japan this year🗻⛩️🏯.I was there years ago on business, but I didn't have time to do any sightseeing, so I'm looking forward to going back. Tess' mother went last year (without Tess ! - If you haven't read the The Mommy II: The Return of Mrs.D post from last May ( and why haven't you ??? 🤨I wrote about it there.)  I still feel guilty about it, especially since Mrs. D. used me as her scapegoat.🐐 Again !!! 😡" Well I knew you would not leave HIM for two entire weeks." ,she said. (  I'm "Him" again. ) Of course, I would have missed My Tess, but I CAN fend for myself when I have to. Tess said it didn't matter and that she would much rather go with ME someday😁. Soooo,  I had a shower and a soak and a backrub and put on the new robe that Tess had laid out

for me and went downstairs to a welcome home feast of  :   Homemade sushi

Tempura:

                                                                                                                                                          Soba:  

              

and a green tea ice cream sundae:

and freshly baked cookies

Tess put green tea in her snowball cookies.😣Actually, they were good.

. Then we exchanged our presents🎁. Tess gave me something that I have been wanting for a long time🙊 and my present to her was tickets 🎟️to see her favorite, "Mr.Buble " at Madison Square Garden on February 20th. I think the neighbors heard her scream😆!!! We had tickets to his last concert here, but something came up and we weren't able to go, so I have cleared my calendar 📅 for that night because she never asks for anything and I don't like disappointing her.                            So, while I like that Tess has turned the guest bath into an onsen, and I love the food of course🍜🍠🍣🍰🍵🍱🍛🍚🍤🍥🍙🥚and I'm finding the yukatas comfortable 🥋 and I'm even getting used to her bowing to me and calling me "Shujin-Sama" (MASTER😃
!!!   It's pretty sweet, actually. ) I don't even mind that she keeps taking my shoes,  because when I go to put them back on they have "miraculously" been cleaned and polished. BUT...when she wondered aloud if we should replace the dining room furniture with a low table and cushions and our king-sized bed with a couple of futons, I put these size 13's down HARD !!!👊💪🤬 (I think I scared her !😀) When we are actually IN Japan, I will happily sit and sleep as the customs dictate, but until then, I want all of the comforts of my home.  She has her baby blues on on a Shiba Inu



too. Apparently, they're the cats🐈🐱 of the dog world🤨. We HAVE a dog, I remind her. She says she thinks he's lonely. So after she shows me a few YouTube videos of some Shibas🐶, I have to admit that they are pretty impressive. "Maybe for Valentine's Day💐💝😘." She says No! and tells me that she's priced the puppies and they start at $1200 ! 😮 Me: We'll bring one home from Japan. Tess: No. It would have to go through quarantine. Me: Yeah.Been there, done that. (I felt guilty for weeks and drove the vets crazy with phone calls.) She says she doesn't mind waiting until one finds us. My Tess is a Cancerian with the patience of a saint😇💐. I should know. She waited for me for years (and is still waiting) and has never complained.  A few days later I had to go out of town for a couple of days. When I opened my new bento box on the plane, I found a Shiba Inu made of rice and seaweed🍙 staring up at me.                                  I texted her when I landed. 

The stewardess asked if my "little girl" had made it for me. Yup ! 🤓 Well, "technically" it wasn't a lie. Tess would call it a "fib".   

 "Did you change your mind ? " She said "No." When I got to the hotel , I called a few rescues, but no luck. Is $1200 too much to spend on a puppy 🐶? Probably. Am I still going to get one for her ? Well, the old me would have, but I've changed. For the better. There was a time when I would have spent any amount of money💵 to keep my mate happy. But then, that was NOT My Tess. 🤐 She isn't seduced by material things 🛍️💍🚗and she can't be bought. She turned my life around and taught me that love does not come with a price tag🏷️. Every day I bless her nanny for raising her and the friend that found her for me. She was, and is, my angel😇 and my Godsend. Thank goodness her mother didn't raise her !!! (Take that, Mrs.D.😉!!! ) It's good to be home. 🏠😊

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS !!! 🎅🤶⛄🎄🎁🌧️🦌

                                       

From

           TheChamCham😉and Tess☺️.           (We're still without WiFi, so here's an oldie but a goodie.)      

Latkes and Doughnuts and Cheesecake, Oh My!

Monday night was the last night of Chanukah and we had our special dinner, just my Mr.Cham and I, and it was lovely.

Matzo ball soup w/veggies,rice pilaf, and gefilte fish.

Doughnuts with red raspberry jam.

Earlier in the week, we paid a visit to my family and friends in Louisiana for a few days, but it is always so good to come home again.

Lox and cream cheese bagel
Lunch with a mini pomegranate cherry cheesecake

We are expecting our first snow on the sixteenth, so we have been making certain that the birdhouses are ready for guests and that the bird feeders are filled with tasty goodies and we had a last day with "our" ducks

before they left the cold comfort of our backyard for warmer accomidations down south.
A few weeks ago I sorted out the flannel sheets and electric blankets and regular blankets so we are warm and cozy and last week I surprised my Mr.Cham with a cord of seasoned firewood all nicely cut and stacked. I know that he likes to do it himself, I simply do not think that he should have to all of the time. I am a romantic, but a practical one. If you love someone, you want to keep them safe and warm, and well-fed. When I first came to work for him, Mr.Cham had never celebrated Chanukah, but I grew up with many Jewish friends (yes, there ARE Jewish people in the South!) and so those holidays are as traditional to me as all of the others.

He likes the foods and he is so good to come home with me when he is able to. We are hoping to be home for Christmas this year, but his schedule is never set in stone, so I have learned not to plan things too far ahead of time. Home truly is where your heart is and as long as we are together,nothing else really matters. We are blessed. But I do hope that we will be back in business soon. Mr.Cham is right. This keyboard is too small! (and this font is too masculine!)
Tess🌷

International Sandwich Day (November 3rd)

Today is International Sandwich Day! 
The sandwich has been around for centuries. It is yummy, portable comfort food that delights young and old. There are endless varieties only limited by your imagination. 
In Japan, sandwiches are available everywhere. Even in vending machines! They are beautifully packaged, miniature works of art of bread, cheese, meat, seafood and even fruit! I think they are adorable and the perfect size. (My Mr. Cham thinks they belong in a dollhouse.)

On an episode of Only in Japan, congenial host/producer/ writer John Daub

introduces us to Japanese sandwiches.

This entire episode and all episodes of Only in Japan are available on YouTube. If you are planning a trip to Japan (WE ARE!!!!!!!🎎), they are an invaluable source of information. And if you are not, they are very entertaining as well. Thank you, John! (We had a huge spike of visitors from Japan today 11-7-2018. We are only in the planning stages, but we're excited too !!!😁)

Here are a few of our favorites sandwiches:

The Classic Grilled Cheese
Your choice of cheese and bread.

                                                 France's Croque Monsieur
                                 Grilled cheese with ham.

 Monte Cristo
Ham and cheese, dipped into eggs and milk and fried. Dusted with powdered sugar, served with fresh fruit, jam and french fries. The love child of French Toast and the powdered sugar doughnut.

 The Cheeseburger
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.😋

 The Patty Melt
The more sophisticated brother of the cheeseburger
served on grilled rye bread with optional caramelized onions.

                                                            Club Sandwich
Ham, cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on toast.

 Peanut Butter and Jelly

                                       Peanut Butter and Banana

(Toast the bread and grill the sandwich
and enjoy one of Mr. Elvis Presley's favorites.)

                                         Louisiana Poor Boy
                                         Meat or seafood "dressed" with
                                                       mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato                                                            on a roll.

Vietnamese Banh Mi 
Pork and pickled vegetables on a baguette.

                                                 Tuna Fish
                                         Add cheese and grill to make a tuna melt.

French Dip
Thinly sliced roast beef on a
roll and served with au jus.

                           Turkey
                                     Thanksgiving between two slices of bread.

Lox and Cream Cheese
served on a bagel with onion and tomato, sometimes capers.

The Dagwood
Inspired by the 1930's comic strip by Chic Young.

The BLONDIE (and Dagwood) series of films of the '30's and '40's
starred Arthur Lake and Penny Singleton as The Bumstead family, including their son "Baby Dumpling" and their dog Daisy.

                                                                       At the Universal                                                         Studios themed                                       restaurant, you can try one for yourself.

What is YOUR favorite sandwich?🌷😉 (Please forgive the chaos. This was one of our rare "collaborations").

• 
  

MEN MAKE DINNER DAY !!! (Yes, it's a real holiday and it was yesterday.)

                                 RAMEN !!!

I've been asked if I'm only allowed in the kitchen once a year and the answer is ...NO. My Tess surrenders her domain a couple times a week when I am home and not "gallivanting" (her word, not mine). I prefer to call it WORKING !!! 😉

BOOOOO !!!!!!! (DID I SCARE YOU ???)

                        Halloween is right around the corner !!! It's probably my favorite holiday, although I like most of them and Tess and I like to celebrate pretty much anything. But Halloween is the one that she gladly turns over to me every year. 

                        I do the decorations, pick the costumes, buy the candy, make dinner and pick the playlist of movies and shows that we'll watch after the kids are stuffed with treats and are all tucked in and snoring (or is that me ?😏)

    I'm giving out the good stuff !!!

                           A few weeks ago, I brought up the subject of costumes. Even though I pick who we're going to be, I still like to get Tess' input. Especially after what happened the first year we were a couple.
I chose Han Solo and Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi. She loved the idea until I said that I had picked Leia's costume from Jaba's palace. She was silent, which is never a good thing.
Me: What's wrong ? 
Tess: It's a little bit...revealing. 
Me: You'll be beautiful.
Tess: Are we going somewhere or staying home ?
Me: Staying home.
Tess: Then why do I need a costume ?
Me: To give out candy to trick or treaters.
Tess : The parents will complain.
Me: The dads won't !
Tess : You are terrible.
Me: I know. 

So this year, I knew exactly who we should be.
Me: Two people from Westeros !
Tess: Which two people ?
Me: No one in particular.
Tess: You want me to be Cersei, don't you?
Me: Ugh, no.
Tess: Then who?
Me: It doesn't matter. When we went to the Renaissance Faire we weren't anybody in particular. Isn't that what makes it fun ?
Tess: You made the picture of Daenerys and Jorah.
Me: I did that for you.
Tess: I love it.
Me: We can be them if you want to.
Tess: Whatever you want. I want you to be happy.
Me: I want to be Tyrion.
Tess: (giggling) You are too tall and you do not have a beard !
Me: I could grow a beard.
Tess: In two weeks ?
Me: Probably. Alright, Maester Aemon.
Tess: You are too young.
Me: The Mountain?

Tess: You will scare the kids.
Me: You should be Sansa.
Tess: Because I have red hair ?
Me: Well...You could be Ygritte.
Tess: No ! She was mean and untidy and she killed that little boy's father and shot Jon Snow full of arrows !
Me: Yup. Lady Melisandre ?
Tess : No. She killed that poor little guyirl !

If
Me: Sweetie, pretty much everybody on there has killed somebody. It's just a tv show.
Tess: I know, but.....Alright, Sansa.
Me: She killed Baelish. Tess: Arya did that. Besides, he deserved it.
Me: Yeah. Sansa has pretty clothes. You liked that one with the fur, and it's going to be cold that night.

Tess: It is cold now. Are we going out or staying in ?
Me: Staying in ! I'll put another log on the fire. Call Miss Belle and tell her that you're going to be Sansa, but who am I going to be ?
Tess: That is up to you, but no one bad. Sansa has had enough bad men in her life.
Me: True.
Tess: I had better take your measurements.

Me: Why ?
Tess : So that everything fits.She has not made anything for you in a year and your clothes are too tight.
Me: They are not !
Tess: Look what you are wearing right this minute.
Me: What ? It's comfortable !

Tess : It does not look comfortable. Your jeans are not leaving anything to the imagination, and your shirt is too short.
Me: (laughing) Do you like my socks ? Hey, why don't you throw out all of my clothes and buy me new ones ?
She looked delighted.
Tess : May I ?!!!!!!!
Me :NOOOOOOOOOOO !!!
Tess : Oh my ears ! 
(a few minutes passed, but my Tess doesn't give up easily.) 
Tess :Your suits fit you fine. It is your casual clothes that do not.
Me : Leave them alone and don't pout !!! Now, go and get my belt.
Tess : Don't type that ! They will not know that you are kidding.
Me: Maybe I'm not. Where are you going ?
Tess : To get your belt. I deserve it. Lizzy says that I have made you obese.

Me: When did she say that ?
Tess : The day that we met.
Me: And you still made friends with her ???
Tess: Yes. Her English was not very good then. That was three years ago. She would never say that now.
Me: Do YOU think I'm obese ?
Tess : Goodness, no !......But your clothes are too tight.
Me: Are you putting me on another one of your crazy diets?
Tess : No, but let me give your clothes to charity and go shopping for new ones.....My treat !
Me: No. I hate to shop.
Tess: Now, who is pouting ? Let me take your measurements and then I will go shopping online and you can approve everything before I check out. You are so handsome, but you would be better off going out in your birthday suit than some of the things you wear.
Me : Hey ! There's an idea !
Tess : NOOOOOO !
Me: Why not ?
Tess: Because you would cause a riot ! You have enough women throwing themselves at you now !
😏😕😝😨😬😎
Me : Jealous ???
Tess : Should I be ?
Me: Nope.

Tess : Then I can go shopping for you ?
Me : No. It reminds me of school shopping.
Tess : I never had to do that.
Me: I know ! Lucky.

Tess : I like shopping online. I can take my time and my feet do not hurt.
Me : Call Miss Belle and get her started on the costumes.
Tess : Have you decided who you want to be ?
Me : The Hound.
Tess : Not with your face.
Me :What's wrong with my face ?
Tess :Absolutely nothing. That is the point. Still, it is not his fault and he was kind to Sansa.

(Tess is standing on a chair in this picture !😁)

Me : O.k. No make up. Yay ! I don't have to shave or get a haircut and he wears bitchin' boots !
Tess : I wish you would not say that.
Me : What ? Bitchin' ?
Tess : Yes. It does not become you.
Me : ( I made a face at her) Make the call ! 
Tess : I still need your measurements.
Me : After lunch.

Tess : I could make a nice salad.
Me : You're fired!😡 Pack your bags.
Tess : Soba ?
Me : You can stay.



Lunch was delicious and I let her take my measurements after we ate.
Then, I looked at the tablet where she was writing the numbers down.
Me : I AM obese !!!
Tess :Oh, you are not.
Me : We better go on a diet.
Tess: Why me ?
Me : It's all your fault !