(I lost my engagement ring in the lake.)
Sunday, June 24, 2018
And Now It Is My Turn In The Doghouse.
(I lost my engagement ring in the lake.)
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
"Find a penny, put it in your shoe, have good luck the whole day through."
I grew up in a superstitious household. Some of the beliefs came from my father's Creole upbringing, some from my Pennsylvania Dutch grandmother, others from the Irish side of the family. I knocked wood, threw spilled salt over both shoulders because I could never remember which was the right one, did not open umbrellas in the house, never walked under a ladder, if I left the house and had to come back for something I had to sit down and count to ten before leaving again, and I had to pick the kitten with the most white markings on his black fur because an all black cat was considered bad luck. A bird inside the house meant that someone would die soon. Did that not include my pet parakeet, I asked? I never received a straight answer, but I was allowed to keep my parakeet. But the biggest one of all was bragging about something that had not happened yet,because that would jinx the outcome. That is still the one that I observe to this day.
Yesterday, an article was published in The Hollywood Reporter about the supporting actor/actress Emmy Award contenders. The nominations will not be announced until July 12th.
Tess🌷
Update : Today is July 12th, the nominations for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama series have been announced and I was right. It gives me no pleasure to say that. 😿No pleasure at all.
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
THE MOMMY II: THE RETURN OF MRS.D.
And Yes, that's what her mother really looks like !
When Tess took me home to meet her for the first time, I said :Do you know your mother looks like Atlanta from "Stingray"? She giggled and said yes. I had already seen pictures of Tess' father who looked like Jeff Tracy from "Thunderbirds"
Last Month (APRIL 1st) , My Tess and I were invited to an Easter brunch 🐇🐤🌷at a friend's house. Now, Easter is probably Tess' favorite holiday, but we've been so busy this year and she had already done my birthday🎈, Christmas, 🎄Valentine's Day, 💝and St. Patrick's Day 🍀so I accepted the invitation. She had already decorated the house when I got up the courage to tell her. She asked to see the invitation, looked at it for a long time, sighed (at this point I expected her to burst into tears), then smiled sweetly and said -
Tess: I will wear my new pink dress. What will you wear ?
Me: Do I have to wear a suit ?
Tess: No.But your blue one is back from the cleaners. (Then she smiled sweetly). You do not have to wear a tie.
Easter morning we got up, had a light breakfast, exchanged Easter baskets and then got dressed (I wore the blue suit,without a tie.)
We went to the brunch (I wasn't the only guy there in a suit !!!), had a nice time and when we got home there were no dishes, no tidying up to do and ......................NO LEFTOVERS !!! 😭
Tess: Look in the refrigerator, Honey.
Ahhh! Twenty-eight deviled eggs, all for me !!! 😊Bliss.
Then one day, a few weeks later, Tess' mother (the infamous Mrs.D. of last summer's Disco party) who had been on a month long trip to Japan with friends, called to say that she was home and having a homecoming brunch with an Easter theme.
(I motioned for Tess to put her on speaker phone.)
Mrs. D. : Well yes, I know that , but they do not celebrate Easter in Japan and I missed it, so I am having it now.
Tess; But Mr.Cham is home and we are relaxing because his schedule will be very busy for the next two months.
Mrs.D : Well, HE can come too. (HE or HIM, that's me. I don't know if she actually doesn't know my name or if she doesn't remember it. She used to refer to me as "THAT MAN", so it's kind of an improvement. Kind of)
Tess: I will have to ask him.
(I shook my head)
Mrs. D: But YOU will come !
Tess: Next time.
Mrs. D: But you have to come ! I want you to make the brunch ! ( I KNEW IT😠 !!!)
Tess: For how many people ?
Mrs. D: Oh,......only eleven. Thirteen including you....and HIM. With myself it will be fourteen.
(Shaking my head until I thought it would fall off.)
Tess: That is very short notice, mother.
Mrs.D. :I sent out the invitations last week and I have already heard from half of the list.
Tess; Why did you not call me last week ?
Mrs.D: I forgot.
I think I saw flames shoot out of my sweet girl's nostrils.🔥🐲
Mrs. D : Miss Belle will be there and she is SOOOOO looking forward to seeing you. She was heartbroken when you cancelled Christmas with her. (Guilt Guilt Guilt)
Tess: We had to go to England.
Mrs.D: HE had to go to England. You did not have to go with him.
Tess: Yes. I did. I promised him.
Mrs. D: You promised Miss Belle first and then you broke that promise.
Tess: I talked to her before we went. She understood. And I sent her a lovely Christmas present from England.
A LITTLE BACKSTORY: Miss Belle was Tess' nanny and then governess from the time she was seven weeks old until she was nineteen. As far as Tess is concerned, Miss Belle is her "Mama" and Tess' mother is her (s)mother. So Mrs.D. knows how to guilt her.
Tess: (whispering to me) Will you go ?
Me: When?
Tess: When are you planning it for ?
Mrs. D: This weekend. Otherwise it will run into Mother's Day.
Tess: It will have to count as both because Mr.Cham has a prior commitment that week and I am going with him.
Mrs. D: Fine.
Tess: Do you have a menu ?
Mrs. D: No. I'll leave that to you. But do a few Japanese dishes too.
Tess: Japanese food ! Should I wear a kimono too ?
Mrs. D : Oh, I bought you two ! You can try them on when you get here and I can decide which one you should wear.
Tess: Did you buy one for HIM?
Tess: You want him to wear a suit...,?
Mrs. D. : Well, that WOULD be nice, but I was more concerned with his...hat.
Tess: What about it ?
Mrs.D; The new one is a great improvement ! I can almost see what you see in him. Almost. Tell him to wear the ivory one.
Tess: He is not a child, Mother. But I will forwards your sartorial suggestion. (That's my girl !!!😁)Well, I will have to see what I can do on such short notice and get back to you.
Mrs.D. : Fine.
The phone clicked off. Mrs.D. is one of those annoying people who never says goodbye, they simply hang up.
Me: You're not going.....are you ???
Tess: I would like to see Miss Belle.
Me: Send her a plane ticket. My treat.
Tess: You are sweet. But...it will kill two poor birds with one stone and I can say we are booked if anything else comes up. I'll understand if you do not go with me. (I could see the pout getting ready to appear)
Me: I'll meet you there.
Tess: (pout reverting to relieved smile) Thank you, honey !
So Tess took the train to Florida with her friend Lily to prepare the food and I flew down on the day of the brunch. I was greeted at the door by ......
THE GINGER GEISHA !!!
Me: You look adorable !
Tess: Oh,thank you. I am so glad to see you ! You look so handsome ! No one else is here yet.
Me: Including your mother ?
Tess: She is still primping in her room. How was your flight ?
Me: Alright.
Tess.: Good. Come to the kitchen. I want you to sample the food.
Me: I'm your man !
The brunch was beautiful. Before she left NY, my clever girl had bought a sushi making kit on Amazon.com and had it delivered to her mother's house along with her grocery order (and billed it to her mother's account !😛) Then when she arrived in Florida she made 125 pieces of assorted SUSHI !!!
and some of her own specialties. Deviled eggs with salmon roe.
And some little sandwiches (chicken
She was going to make little Godzilla
While we were eating, Mrs. D suddenly announced the following:
Mrs.D: Did you all know that in Japan only 2% of the population is obese !
I looked up and found her staring down the table at me. Then everyone's eyes turned my way. AWKWARD !!!😬
Me: (smiling "sweetly") I take it that was meant for me?
She only smiled (faux sweetly).
I started to reply, when a small red headed pitbull suddenly jumped to my defense. (Again.)
Tess: He is NOT obese ! His doctor said so recently. !
Mrs. D : A REAL doctor, or that herbalist YOU go to ?
Tess: A real doctor ! And my herbalist is also a holistic healer and she is excellent ! Better than any "real" doctor I have seen. I have never felt better!
Me: And you look AMAZING !!!
Tess: (blushing adorably) Oh thank you, honey ! 💋💏
That received a disapprovingly look from Mrs. D. who "does approve of public displays of affection".😁(Aw, Shucks. Hee Hee !!!)
After the buffet, Mrs. D announced that she had discovered Karaoke (not literally of course, and decades too late) and led us into the lounge and sat down at the piano. She had apparently NOT discovered Karaoke machines.
Tess: Oh no! I am only the caterer.
Mrs. D: But you did not sing at my birthday party !
Tess: I am not a singer.
Mrs.D: You used to sing all the time. You were singing in the kitchen last night. (Turns to me) I bet she sings for YOU !
Me: Well, she sings when she cooks, but she stops if I come in the room.
Mrs. D: Make her sing !
Me: (Laughing until my sides ached) I don't MAKE her do anything.
Me: I think you have that backwards.
Mrs. D: Do YOU sing ?
Me: No M'am !
She stared me down (even though she is much shorter than I am) and then walked away.
Me: Are you going to sing, Baby ?
Tess: No!
Me: Oh. (I tried not to look too disappointed but apparently failed.)
Tess: But I will if YOU want me to.
I smiled. She says all I have to do is smile and she melts. I don't know if that means I have her wrapped around my "little" finger, but it's very sweet. Anyway, she looked through the music books on the piano while Mrs.D. honored us with
a medley from The Sound of Music. She IS a very talented pianist. I'll give her that.
Mrs. D: This ? Why do you want to sing this ? I don't even know it.
Tess: (looking at me) It is not for YOU. (ZING !!!😃)
Mrs. D: WELL !!! Thank you very much !
The two of them are a riot. They should have their own reality show. Wait, that's a really bad idea. I don't want to be the lone Yankee in a sea of fired up, red headed Southern Belles with a camera rolling. No, thank you !
One of the other guests offered to play for Tess and Mrs.D. got up and he took her place at the piano. Then My Tess told a little story of how I took her to see "The Little Mermaid" on Broadway for her birthday the first year after she came to work for me. (She loved the show but at one point I looked over to find that she was crying. I leaned over and asked what was wrong but she only gave me a little smile and shook her head. Her eyes were filled with tears though. I let it go, we enjoyed the rest of the show and went to dinner afterwards and frankly, I forgot to ask what had made her cry.) She told the other guests that during "If Only" the lyrics touched her so much that she started to cry. She said she already knew that she was falling in love with me but that it wasn't possible that I could feel the same about her, especially after only knowing each other for a few months. She never told me that before. It made me want to cry too, considering how many years it took for us to be together.
Then Tess sang and I found yet another reason to love her. 💘And the look her mother gave me was .....priceless. I couldn't keep from smiling.😁
It wasn't until one of the other guests took their turn that I saw her husband take his phone out and lay it on the coffee table and my heart sank.
Me:Are you recording this ?
Him: Yes. I love it when she sings and I want to be able to play it back later for my friends.
😖Why didn't I think of that ???????????????😭
I told Tess later and she said she was glad I hadn't recorded her. As I've said before, she harbors absolutely no artistic aspirations. That she allows the food photos is surprising enough. But she has promised that the next time I catch her singing in the kitchen, she won't stop. That's enough for me.
So, that was the party and luckily there aren't any upcoming holidays (Until Tess' birthday JULY 7th) and we'll be pretty busy for the next couple of months with work related activities so I think we'll both be safe from Mrs.D. for a while. At least until..............................
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
MAY 2, 1990
You may think that today is the worst day of your life, but how do you know that tomorrow will not be the best day, if you are not here to see it.
They say that you always remember where you were when a major tragedy happens in your world. The Kennedy Assassination, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, to name a few. But I cannot remember where I was when I heard the news that David had died. All I can remember is how I felt. Devastated.
He was only thirty-eight. He had his entire life ahead of him.
David Rappaport was an actor, but he was a human being first and foremost. Born November 23, 1951 to an Orthodox Jewish family in London, he was a wonderful, charming, intelligent, caring, multi-faceted, funny, amazing human being. He was well-educated, having studied Psychology at the University of Bristol, he then spent a decade teaching. He was an accomplished musician who played piano, drums and flute.
To most people, David had many things to live for. That September he was to begin filming "The Poet" about a dwarf poet in a Welsh village, a project he had wanted to do for several years based on the story by Carol Ann Cline. He was engaged, although his prior suicide attempt was in March of 1990, two weeks before the scheduled wedding, which never took place. He had a son, Joe who lived in England with his mother, But apparently, none of these were enough reason to want to go on living
David also happened to have been born with Epiphyseal Dysplasia, a form of Dwarfism. But that was only one of the many things that made David special in the eyes and hearts of those who truly loved him.
Recently, I took the last photographs of him to a friend that does Chinese face readings who has done incredibly accurate readings for me and my family and friends and she diagnosed David with several serious medical issues (She knew nothing about him prior to doing the readings). A bit after the fact, I know, but for someone still searching for answers twenty eight years later, it was something. To a child who only wanted to know "why", it is an answer. To take your life because of a lost job or a breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend seem such little reasons. Temporary trials that we have all faced and continued on. Suicide is NOT a solution. It is only an ending and only for the person who dies. The people who loved and continue to love and miss them are doomed to suffer for the rest of their (our) lives.
To take your life to end present and future physical suffering is perhaps easier to understand, but even then, if traditional medicine fails you, there are many other options and I say this as a person who has faced death from serious illness and not given up, even when I wanted to, because it would have devastated the people who love and need me. Please think of them when you cannot think of yourself.
Today can be the worst day of your life but how do you know that tomorrow will not be better if you are not here to see it.
As I stood there, it began to rain again and I could not help but think "You do not belong here", but then I knew that he was not really there.
Cemeteries are for the living, places to go to "visit" our lost friends and loved ones to make us "feel better" for not having done anything for them when they were alive. It is a helpless feeling.
My dearest Mr.Cham reminds me lovingly that I was only a child when David died and I know that he is trying his best to comfort me, again, but it does not make the pain go away and I do not believe that anything ever will.Perhaps that is the price that we must pay for having loved someone and then outlived them.
Tess🌷
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Here Comes the Bride.
Only kidding.
I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of a friend on Thursday. My friend Lily and I took the train down to Baton Rouge on Monday. Tuesday there was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, Wednesday, the Bachelorette Party, Thursday, The Wedding, and we took the train home Friday afternoon. (Is there such a thing as "train lag"? ) I slept for eleven hours between Friday night and Saturday afternoon when My Mr.Cham charmingly whispered in my ear "It's Saturday. Aren't we having French Toast?" And yes, we had French Toast, made with Texas Toast, for a late lunch.
When I received the invitation to the bridal shower (which I was unable to attend due to a prior commitment) there was a personal note enclosed asking if I would be one of the bridesmaids (her sister was her Matron of Honour). The bride and I grew up together and we have stayed in touch, even though I am rarely in Louisiana, so I was touched to be included. Unfortunately, the wedding date conflicted with one of My Mr.Cham's social obligations but we discussed it at length and since he is not a especially fond of weddings and did not know the bride or groom, and the party he was invited to was not of as great importance as a wedding (my opinion) and my presence was not mandatory (he said, doing a perfect imitation of my infamous pout), we agreed that I would attend the wedding without him (as long as I took my traveling companion and watchdog, Lily ) and he would attend his party......alone. (Again the pout.)
I thought for a moment and then suggested that he also take a friend (he does not need a watchdog. Although, it never fails to surprise me how bold and brazen women have become! Especially, the already engaged and married ones!) He said he knew someone who might like to go. (Only one? I think there must be a sign up sheet somewhere!)
So that settled that. On Tuesday morning after a teary parting at the train station, Lily and I were on our way to Baton Rouge. All of the bride's attendants were staying at her parent's home, but since I was not traveling alone, Lily and I checked into a lovely Bed and Breakfast nearby and a car retrieved us for the planned activities. That evening the ladies had a bachelorette party and the gentlemen had their own festivities. Ours was a Broadway Karaoke Party (the bride is a musical theater graduate as are several of the other bridesmaids. Now, like most of us I am a bathtub singer and I sing in the kitchen when I am cooking, but as My Mr.Cham has mentioned, I have no artistic inclinations so after watching impromptu performances from the scores of The Phantom of the Opera, The Little Mermaid, Oklahoma, Dreamgirls, The Color Purple and Funny Girl, Beauty and the Beast. and Frozen.........it was my turn.
I offered to make the brownie sundaes instead.
Mr.Cham: What did you sing?
Me: Oh, something from Little Shop of Horrors.
Mr.Cham: Which song?
Me: I'm a Mean Green Mother From Outer Space.
Mr.Cham: YOU DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: (laughing) No. Something Wonderful from The King and I.
Mr.Cham: You never sing for me. (Big sigh)
Me: Yes, I do. All the time. But only when you are not around.
Mr.Cham : Oh.
(That made me feel guilty.)
Me: How was your party?
Mr.Cham: Alright. The music was good but loud. You wouldn't have liked it.
Me: True. Did you have a nice dinner?
Mr.Cham: Hot dogs, pretzels and ice cream sundaes.
Me: I thought it was a Gala?
Mr.Cham: So did I, but that was the theme.
Me: How odd.
Mr.Cham: Oh, there was a lot of caviar.
Me: I would rather have cake.
Mr.Cham: There was birthday cake too.
Me: Well, that was nice.
Mr.Cham: I miss you, Baby.
Me: I miss you too, Honey. I will be on the first train on Friday.
Mr.Cham: You better be.
Back upstairs, they took a break from singing and came downstairs for the sundaes.
The others may not have needed their beauty sleep, but we did.
There was tea at the house before we were to have our hair, makeup and nails done for the wedding.
(In my defense, I was not told about this beforehand) and arrived already made up, coiffed and manicured by Lily.
For the early evening wedding we were all wearing long white dresses and each bridesmaid, the flower girl and Matron of Honour were given a different colored satin sash to match the flowers in their respective flower garlands. Mine was a deep salmon pink. Lily thought I should wear my hair down. It was twenty degrees hotter in Louisiana than it had been in New York and I thought I should wear it up. Besides, the back detail of the the dress would not be covered by hair, if I did) We compromised. I asked one of the photographers to take a picture of me from the back (per My Mrs. Cham's instructions) so that I could post it here.
I suggested that he calm down and look at the top of my head where he could see it had been rolled and then twisted into a bun. The hair hanging down that was curled was the bottom half of my hair. I had to prove this to him when I returned home. He has since recovered.
The wedding was lovely (the best part- my Mother was out of town and sent a gift and her regrets)
and the new Mr. and Mrs. X are now honeymooning in Paris.
Yesterday morning, Lily and I were homeward bound on the train and when we arrived, my sad-eyed puppy dog was there waiting with the first roses of the year from our garden. At home, I presented my human beloved with the peace offerings I had brought for him. Not only two generous pieces of the vanilla, raspberry jam and buttercream wedding cake (why is there always so much leftover cake at weddings?)
Me: It was nice.
Mr.Cham: Was there a band?
Me: Yes.
Mr.Cham: Did you dance?
Me: No.
Mr.Cham: Why not?
Me: Because I am taken.
Mr.Cham: That's my girl. Did you get any ideas?
Me: About what?
Mr,Cham: About our future wedding.
Me: Yes. I do not want one.
Mr.Cham: You met someone, didn't you?
Me: No! But I do not want a wedding. Would you mind, when the time comes, if we simply elope?
He finished his cake and drank the rest of his coffee. Then he got up from the table and put his dishes in the sink.
Mr.Cham: Do you mean that? You really want to elope?
Me: I never say anything I do not mean.
He smiled softly and nodded.
Mr. Cham: Ok. How about next weekend?
Me: No. In the Spring.
Mr.Cham: It is Spring.
Me: 2019.
Mr.Cham: You don't mind waiting?
Me: For you? I have waited all my life for you.
He rewarded me with a very sweet cake kiss.
Mr.Cham: That's my girl.
Me:Where are you going?
Mr.Cham: Upstairs. To draw your bath for you.
Me: Thank you,Honey. Would you care to join me?
(That little boy smile. A man who still blushes is adorable. And rare.)
Mr. Cham: I would. Rose petals or lavender?
Me: You choose.
Tess🌷
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