SHE'S BAAAAACK 😁👍 !!!

Hey kids !!!
 

My Tess💕 has been away for a while,but she came home a few days ago. She returned to a house that looked like four pigs 🐷🐖🐖🐖, a couple of dogs and possibly a bear🐻had been living there (on the phone she kept telling me not to worry about it, so I didn't until she called to tell me she was coming home 😅 and then it was too late😣). The cupboard was so bare that our resident mouse🐭 had died of starvation. After the funeral, Tess sorted the mountain of laundry👔👖👘 and rallied her troops, her friends Lily and Elle, who help her around the house, and told them that they would be doing the spring cleaning a little early this year. After taking inventory, Tess made her Walmart order and asked me if I could pick it up🚛. Considering that she hadn't burst into tears or scolded me when she walked in, how could I refuse ? On my way home I picked up takeout 🥡🥡🥠🥠from our favorite Chinese restaurant, not only because I knew that there wouldn't be a homecooked meal in the near future, but to celebrate Tess' homecoming🎈🎈🎉.                   
When she first came to work for me nine years ago, I found out pretty quickly that Tess is a teeny bit obsessive in her domesticity. In the first week she completely reorganized the kitchen from refrigerator to pantry and everywhere in between. One day, I found her alphabetizing the herb and spice containers. I told her not to bother, that I'd just mess them up again when I cooked. 
Tess: YOU...cook?😲  Me:Yeah, not like you, but I know my way around a kitchen.  Tess: Your assistant (lets call her "Claire") told me that you could not boil water. Me: She exagerates. Tess: Then why were you hiring a Private Chef? Me: I wasn't. Claire kept telling me I needed someone to look after me, but she had her own family, so she said she was going to find someone for me. And she did 😀.  She did the pre-interviews and when she had narrowed the field to three, she arranged for them to come to the house to meet me.  The first one reminded me of that guy from the FOOD channel that runs a bakery with his sisters and they're always fighting. That guy😞. First, he complained that I had an electric stove (it came with the house I had at the time),then he didn't like the pasta or the cheese or the wine in my pantry. When I asked what his signature dish was, he looked at me like I had offended him. "PASTA !!!  ,😵He shouted, waking my dog and when she started barking, he said "Does IT have to do that?" 😒I asked him if he had seen my front door, and then I showed it to him😠. When I came back, I looked at Claire😟. "He wasn't like that when I interviewed him." She promised I'd like the next one, adding "She's just your type".  Me: I don't have a type !  Claire: Oh, sure you do! Me: What is it? The doorbell rang so I never found out, but if what came through my front door next was any indication, I was in need of change.  Immediately !!!  If Crazy Jane has a long lost sister, I've met her😬. She never did cook for me and she only stayed for about fifteen minutes (which was plenty !!!). Apparently, she thought that the job might include more than just cooking for me (if you know what I mean😉.) When I cleared up that little misunderstanding, she was no longer interested in the job,told me that I had wasted her time and that I didn't know what I was missing, and left in a huff.    
Claire😲 began to apologize when her phone rang. It was contestant #3 calling to say that she was unavoidably detained and would we like to reschedule?  "Just cancel !!!" I whispered. She shook her head. They rescheduled for the next day. Claire assured me that I'd like this one. Me: After today, I don't trust your judgement."  
So, to make a long story short, ( I know, too late😏) at eleven o'clock sharp the next morning, a living doll , carrying TWO bags of groceries😀, sashayed into my life (and into my heart🤗), made me REAL southern macaroni and cheese (My choice, and still the best I've ever had)😋fried chicken and chocolate chip cookies 😋😋 , made me smile, made me laugh and made me wish I WAS interviewing for "more than a chef" 😍(although, I wouldn't tell her that for years). I hired her on the spot and she moved in the next day and began to put my house and my life in order. I'm not an easy guy to work for (or live with) and she's come close to quitting several times, but she's never given up on me😌. Good things DO come to those who wait. I know that firsthand now. Perhaps if I had met her sooner......No, the past is what shapes us, the future is something to look forward to and the present is a gift. And sometimes the bad times make you that much more appreciative of the good (and great) ones. Two days later the house is pristine again, I have a closet full of clean, ironed clothes ( who irons t-shirts🤨 ???)  the cupboards (and fridge and freezer) are full (as is my tummy😚) and it's warm and cozy and smells like cookies🍪🍪. Best of all, My Tess is home again.     All is right with the world. 💘😊😉💘 

🍀😉👍🍺🍀

Happiness is a place between too much and too little.😉

Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I REALLY think so !!!

Hey kids !!!😀 I've been in and out of town on business (and a little bit of pleasure 😋🍺✈️🎄🦌🎊🏟️🎣🏁💵🏆🤫) and I came home to find that we had apparently moved to Japan 🗻⛩️🏯 in my absence 😯. Tess is still nursing that cold, so I didn't let her meet me at the airport, but I called to tell her I was on my way home, and again when I landed ,because she likes to have everything ready for my arrival.    When the Uber 🚐 driver pulled up to the gate, I asked him to honk the horn and a few moments later the intercom crackled and a little voice called out "Konichiwa!" (with a slight Louisiana drawl😮)  The driver and I looked at each other. It was about 6pm and I thought he'd taken a wrong turn in the dark."Uhhh ,I don't think this is my house." He raised an eyebrow🤨 and repeated the address I had given him.

"Yeah, that's it." 😕(I said warily ) The gate opened suddenly and he drove through. We were halfway up the driveway lined with paper lanterns when the front door opened and  👘 The infamous "Ginger Geisha" appeared between two new potted plants on the steps, knelt down and began bowing as if the Emperor himself had arrived😏. She said something in Japanese and bowed a few more times. The driver looked impressed. "Does she do that everytime?" I only smiled. (Bless My little Tess.🤗)  I do always get an enthusiastic welcome home, but this was extravagant, even for Tess ! It used to embarrass me the way she fusses over me, but I think (after nine years) I am finally learning to relax and enjoy it. In contrast, over a decade ago, the last time I came home from a LONG, very unpleasant business trip to a country I won't name (wonderful people, terrible food and weather), I paid the cab driver, dragged my luggage inside and looked for my family whom I hadn't seen in four long months! My (soon to be ex) wife was sunning herself by the pool. I had to clear my throat three times before she could draw her attention away from the magazine she was engrossed in, long enough to look up and say "Oh......(yawn ) Are YOU back?"🙁  Yeah😒 . Anyway, that's ancient history.🤞)               Back to the present...............
The driver unloaded my luggage, I tipped him and he gave me a thumbs up ,and dare I say it, an envious smile and drove out of gate.When he was gone Tess got up and hugged the life out of me (or is it INTO me ? ) and covered my face with sweet kisses.😘  Just inside the mudroom door, she took my jacket,  sat me down on the bench, stole my shoes and socks and replaced them with a pair of house slippers."What are you doing ?" "Come and see!" She put her soft little hand in mine and led me into the front room. The house hadn't been decorated for the holidays when I left, but it was now ! 🤨

Tess' friend Lily had stayed with her while I was gone and they had decided to have a Japanese-themed Christmas and New Year's this year.  They told me about their dinner 😋and their Godzilla🦖/Mothra🦋🐛/Gamera 🐢marathon 😯. As you may know, we're planning a trip to Japan this year🗻⛩️🏯.I was there years ago on business, but I didn't have time to do any sightseeing, so I'm looking forward to going back. Tess' mother went last year (without Tess ! - If you haven't read the The Mommy II: The Return of Mrs.D post from last May ( and why haven't you ??? 🤨I wrote about it there.)  I still feel guilty about it, especially since Mrs. D. used me as her scapegoat.🐐 Again !!! 😡" Well I knew you would not leave HIM for two entire weeks." ,she said. (  I'm "Him" again. ) Of course, I would have missed My Tess, but I CAN fend for myself when I have to. Tess said it didn't matter and that she would much rather go with ME someday😁. Soooo,  I had a shower and a soak and a backrub and put on the new robe that Tess had laid out

for me and went downstairs to a welcome home feast of  :   Homemade sushi

Tempura:

                                                                                                                                                          Soba:  

              

and a green tea ice cream sundae:

and freshly baked cookies

Tess put green tea in her snowball cookies.😣Actually, they were good.

. Then we exchanged our presents🎁. Tess gave me something that I have been wanting for a long time🙊 and my present to her was tickets 🎟️to see her favorite, "Mr.Buble " at Madison Square Garden on February 20th. I think the neighbors heard her scream😆!!! We had tickets to his last concert here, but something came up and we weren't able to go, so I have cleared my calendar 📅 for that night because she never asks for anything and I don't like disappointing her.                            So, while I like that Tess has turned the guest bath into an onsen, and I love the food of course🍜🍠🍣🍰🍵🍱🍛🍚🍤🍥🍙🥚and I'm finding the yukatas comfortable 🥋 and I'm even getting used to her bowing to me and calling me "Shujin-Sama" (MASTER😃
!!!   It's pretty sweet, actually. ) I don't even mind that she keeps taking my shoes,  because when I go to put them back on they have "miraculously" been cleaned and polished. BUT...when she wondered aloud if we should replace the dining room furniture with a low table and cushions and our king-sized bed with a couple of futons, I put these size 13's down HARD !!!👊💪🤬 (I think I scared her !😀) When we are actually IN Japan, I will happily sit and sleep as the customs dictate, but until then, I want all of the comforts of my home.  She has her baby blues on on a Shiba Inu



too. Apparently, they're the cats🐈🐱 of the dog world🤨. We HAVE a dog, I remind her. She says she thinks he's lonely. So after she shows me a few YouTube videos of some Shibas🐶, I have to admit that they are pretty impressive. "Maybe for Valentine's Day💐💝😘." She says No! and tells me that she's priced the puppies and they start at $1200 ! 😮 Me: We'll bring one home from Japan. Tess: No. It would have to go through quarantine. Me: Yeah.Been there, done that. (I felt guilty for weeks and drove the vets crazy with phone calls.) She says she doesn't mind waiting until one finds us. My Tess is a Cancerian with the patience of a saint😇💐. I should know. She waited for me for years (and is still waiting) and has never complained.  A few days later I had to go out of town for a couple of days. When I opened my new bento box on the plane, I found a Shiba Inu made of rice and seaweed🍙 staring up at me.                                  I texted her when I landed. 

The stewardess asked if my "little girl" had made it for me. Yup ! 🤓 Well, "technically" it wasn't a lie. Tess would call it a "fib".   

 "Did you change your mind ? " She said "No." When I got to the hotel , I called a few rescues, but no luck. Is $1200 too much to spend on a puppy 🐶? Probably. Am I still going to get one for her ? Well, the old me would have, but I've changed. For the better. There was a time when I would have spent any amount of money💵 to keep my mate happy. But then, that was NOT My Tess. 🤐 She isn't seduced by material things 🛍️💍🚗and she can't be bought. She turned my life around and taught me that love does not come with a price tag🏷️. Every day I bless her nanny for raising her and the friend that found her for me. She was, and is, my angel😇 and my Godsend. Thank goodness her mother didn't raise her !!! (Take that, Mrs.D.😉!!! ) It's good to be home. 🏠😊

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS !!! 🎅🤶⛄🎄🎁🌧️🦌

                                       

From

           TheChamCham😉and Tess☺️.           (We're still without WiFi, so here's an oldie but a goodie.)      

Latkes and Doughnuts and Cheesecake, Oh My!

Monday night was the last night of Chanukah and we had our special dinner, just my Mr.Cham and I, and it was lovely.

Matzo ball soup w/veggies,rice pilaf, and gefilte fish.

Doughnuts with red raspberry jam.

Earlier in the week, we paid a visit to my family and friends in Louisiana for a few days, but it is always so good to come home again.

Lox and cream cheese bagel
Lunch with a mini pomegranate cherry cheesecake

We are expecting our first snow on the sixteenth, so we have been making certain that the birdhouses are ready for guests and that the bird feeders are filled with tasty goodies and we had a last day with "our" ducks

before they left the cold comfort of our backyard for warmer accomidations down south.
A few weeks ago I sorted out the flannel sheets and electric blankets and regular blankets so we are warm and cozy and last week I surprised my Mr.Cham with a cord of seasoned firewood all nicely cut and stacked. I know that he likes to do it himself, I simply do not think that he should have to all of the time. I am a romantic, but a practical one. If you love someone, you want to keep them safe and warm, and well-fed. When I first came to work for him, Mr.Cham had never celebrated Chanukah, but I grew up with many Jewish friends (yes, there ARE Jewish people in the South!) and so those holidays are as traditional to me as all of the others.

He likes the foods and he is so good to come home with me when he is able to. We are hoping to be home for Christmas this year, but his schedule is never set in stone, so I have learned not to plan things too far ahead of time. Home truly is where your heart is and as long as we are together,nothing else really matters. We are blessed. But I do hope that we will be back in business soon. Mr.Cham is right. This keyboard is too small! (and this font is too masculine!)
Tess🌷